Last month I wrote about high anxiety and I'm happy to report that I am doing much better. Within the month I've been really focusing on drafting project M4 in seven weeks, with this week being the seventh! Almost done! I have high hopes for this story and I'm really hoping that it's 'the one.' The one with enough hook, the one with enough complexity, the one with enough heart that will capture an agent's eyes (after extensive revisions of course). But at the same time I have so much doubt within in, that I wonder if I'm just pumping myself up for no good. Because maybe this isn't 'the one.' Maybe it won't be enough.
I know I should take it one day at a time. One word at a time. One paragraph at a time. One page at a time. But then my mind wanders though I know I should be patient, but all I'm thinking about is the distance. The distance between now and where I want to be, and it drives me crazy!
Will I ever get there? How long will it take? Am I doing enough? Am I up to par with the competition? Cue nonstop questions that give me heart palpitations.
Am I insane for thinking I can do this?
I go back and forth constantly. I'm determined, but at the same time I'm tired. I treat writing like a second job and sometimes I'd just like that one job that gives me some cash flow and more freedom to write, aka the dream job.
But there's a difference between dreaming and doing, and I find myself doing both. How do you guys keep your sanity at times like this? Comment below.
This post is in participation of an amazing writers support group started by the just amazing Alex J. Cavanaugh, making writing a little less lonely and filled with encouragement. Thanks also goes to this month's co-hosts: M. Pax, Tracy Jo, Patricia Lynne, Rachna Chhabria, Feather Stone, and Randi Lee